jock_yourself

i wonder what will make me feel again.

i am a free spirit. i enjoy my days.. i will succeed. life is wonderfully pleasant.

if you can't move on past pain it will surely move past you.


pain goes away.






love comes again.


















happiness is key.
:D

my relationship is so secure. my love for my man is incredible, as is his for me. i've never had a person in my life where i've been so sure about their love for me. his love is so real. a year and 2 months today. i couldn't imagine being with another. he literally just loves me. everything about me. he loves me more every day and supports everything i think about doing. then he helps me persue. over come. dominate. success. i love it. everything has gotten so much better lately.. i'm no longer a part of that.. pathetic drowning group.. and although my love will never die for them, my life has so much more meaning. i'm moving along so nicely. i'm working, in college, in love... and better than ever, my parents trust me again. i feel on top of the world... if it weren't for the munchies and my body that no longer looks too sexy in a bikini, i'd say everything is just perfect.

it's depressing how this generation is filled with deceitful, lying, selfish, backstabbing, inconsiderate individuals. but it seems to me - no one seems to be - an INDIVIDUAL anymore. and you know, it practically breaks my heart. but anyone and anything that may seem practical will only fuck you twice and leave you with your pants around your ankles in an alley way with a black eye and a bloody nose. so fuck my broken heart; that shit's been chewed up and digested as many times as your best friend's about to sleep with the love of your life. i'm sure you'll forgive him but my god you will never talk to that bitch again. call me negative? it's only after time and time again of being recklessly screwed over. i believed. i saw so many hearts lie to themselves. so i kicked my heels together 3 times and tried to keep believing. until my shiny red shoes that i never really wore were painfully cut off... just like the bonds we made together. burned. were they fake or were they never even there? $1000.00 says you have not the slightest iota of what could possibly be happening. well. blink a more few times. take a deep breath for me. it's all i could ever expect from you anyway. and now.... pat yourself on the back. chances are, you're just as big of an idiot than the rest of us. so i'll see you in the alley way.
it's practically magic.

A very old friend of mine once said:

That either way you look at it,

You have your fits, I have my fits

but feeling's good.

And confusion's not a kidney stone in my brain.


But if we're mis communicating


do we feel the same?

and now everything is just perfect



plain and simple



we're perfect

he moves tomorrow

felt so good to hold those hands again
i've never liked lips so much

i don't understand this at all. he makes no sense to me anymore. he's never consistent. i can't keep doing it. i ended it all in hopes our friendship would become stronger and we would always stay friends, the best of friends. but apparently he didn't remember this break up. how could he not remember? so i gave him conditions. and he agreed. he kissed me so softly and said yes, katherine. of course. i definitely believed him. but now 2 more days has gone by where i get nothing. no call, no text, no response, no consideration, no love for katie.. not on these nights. i am just getting so fed up, i don't know how much more i can take. 10 months is a long time to throw away. we're so compatible together, but our lives clash more than anything. it's not so much eating me alive right now, and i think i'll be fine no matter what happens.